What! You too?

Somewhere on our journey through infertility, we lose friendships that we once held dear. Some intentionally. Some unintentionally. These lost friendships typically stem from a lack of understanding or the two of you entering very different seasons of life. Whether right or wrong, there’s become a disconnect as their life goes in one direction and yours seems to be spiraling into something you could have never imaged.

You may wave at remaining college friends in the rearview mirror because they’re on child number three and you have nothing to show for your years of trying. Not to mention, you started trying at the same time, because “parenting together would be so much fun.”

How about the church you attended, where toddlers run around knees and people your age talk about midnight feedings and just wanting a break, and all you think about is stealing their offspring just for an hour so you can feel what they feel? That one that you don’t want to go back to because the Mother’s day service was just humiliating and you made the walk of shame past the usher handing out chrysanthemums.

What about your sister-in-law who doubled as your ride-or-die? Now she’s eight months pregnant and all of your favorite aunties are swooning around her belly. You used to be the favorite niece, now the in-law with the bun in the oven has taken over. Now the family you grew up in doesn’t even feel safe.

Don’t even mention that girl at work. She was your source of stability from 8-5, now she’s going on maternity leave. Now you’re really alone.

Alone. A lack of belonging. We as women have tried to avoid that feeling since we learned what a slumber party is. Now that sense of feeling alone is something you fight from the moment your eyes meet daylight.

I love the words that C.S. Lewis penned in The Four Loves. “Friendship is born at the moment when one man says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought no one but myself…”

My infertility translation: “We find a place of belonging when we share our stories with those on a similar journey.”

From the corners of the globe, I hear: “Where? How? When? I don’t know anyone!”

Truth. I was there. 1 in 8 women are there!!! As you mutter those words, women across the globe echo the same sentiment.

I wish I could stand in the gap and be all of your stand-in girlfriends while you walk this journey. Instead, I have created a community for you!

Did you know that The Missing Peace Project has a place for you to be seen? To be heard? To be known? As Mr. Lewis said, there’s a place for you to say, “What! You too?”

While the community is ALWAYS open and ALWAYS there for you, we are having our first Community Gathering on Sunday, April 24 at 7:00CST.

I sincerely hope that you join us. I sincerely hope that you find a place to belong!

How do find the community?

Follow this link to register to join the community: https://themissingpeaceproject.com/register/

Community is found here: https://themissingpeaceproject.com/community/

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Cathie Quillet, LMFT

Cathie Quillet, LMFT

Founder of The Quillet Institute
Infertility and Pregnancy Loss Therapist
Mom to Four Miscarried Babies

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