Self-Care is Not Selfish

Allow me to ask you a personal question. When was the last time you took care of yourself?

Now, I’m not talking about caring for your basic necessities. I’m not talking about a healthy lunch or a good nights sleep. Yes, both of those are imperative to healthy lifestyles. I am not minimizing them or negating their importance.

Here’s what I want you to ask yourself: When was the last time you devoted time to allowing your soul to breathe?

Even typing that makes me take a deep breath and makes me crave a walk in the sunshine of this spring morning. Perhaps a cup of tea in hand. Maybe shoulder-to-shoulder with a soul sister. Maybe with a sweet cafe at the end to gobble up a yummy brunch. Maybe solo with no purpose or destination in sight.

We women are terrible at self-care. There is always something to do. There is always just-one-more-thing on our never-ending list. Our brains never stop. Can I get an Amen?

This is a daily topic of discussion with clients. The overwhelming consensus is that culture has ingrained in us that self-care is selfish. On the contrary, my friends! We need it for peace. For contentment. For our health.

Andre Lorde said, “I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival.” I couldn’t agree more.

Second to my clients feeling like self-care is selfish is that they say it’s been so long since they stopped to intentionally take care of themselves, that they don’t know where to start. When did self-care become so much work?

Look no further for places to start. I leave you with a list of twenty. I hope that you can find something on this list to help you get started.

20 self-care suggestions:

1.) Unplug from social-media

2.) Put your hands in the earth

3.) Practice deep breathing

4.) Finish the sentence: “I am grateful for my life because…”

5.) Journal

6.) Be spontaneous

7.) Be a tourist in your town

8.) Schedule a date night

9.) Add new photos to old frames

10.) Do something brave

11.) Take a nap

12.) Reorganize a space

13.) Make a list of positive things in your life

14.) Take a walk in an open space

15.) Diffuse your favorite oil

16.) Take a bath

17.) Finish the sentence: “I love myself because…”

18.) Call a soul friend

19.) Practice mindfulness

20.) Buy something pretty

Ok, it’s only Monday.

Can you do one by the end of the week?

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Cathie Quillet, LMFT

Cathie Quillet, LMFT

Founder of The Quillet Institute
Infertility and Pregnancy Loss Therapist
Mom to Four Miscarried Babies

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